Twist of Faith

If all goes as scheduled on Sunday morning, May 23, I will officially announce my resignation as Pastor for Congregational Care at Zebulon Baptist Church, Zebulon, NC.  I will begin a new position on September 1, 2010 as a resident chaplain at WakeMed in Raleigh, NC.

Some of you may be asking questions like: “What’s going on with him?”, “What happened?”, “Is everything okay?”, or “What’s wrong?” Let me answer by saying, I am listening to vocational call. Nothing has “happened.” I am more than okay and nothing is wrong.

But, here’s a short version of what’s going on with the whole “listening to vocational call” thing.

After about 18 months of thinking, reading, walking, journal writing, soul searching and conversations with meaningful folks, I came to the conclusion that it is time to move along toward a much more specific work in pastoral care and counseling.

For a good bit of this time I was seeing a Spiritual Director.  One day we were discussing a commitment I made to put my feet in the ocean at least once every month. (I am proud to say I did this for an entire year).  More specifically, we were talking about what kinds of seashells I was looking for and finding. Her comment was, “Keep looking. You’ll find what you’re looking for.” Although she may have meant that for our seashell discussion, it became truer in another way as I continued my beach journeys.

One Fall morning, I walked down the coastline in search of something. I don’t remember finding any great seashells that day, but I do remember finding something else more significant.  As it often does, the ocean waves had made some wonderful tidal pools that were connected by clear water running in and between these enormous puddles.  What I discovered was a flowing path of water. I thought about an image that has come to mean a lot to me. Thomas Moore writes about “stepping courageously into the river of existence, instead of finding ways to remain safe, dry, and unaffected."

So, once again I am stepping into the flow of vocational waters hopeful that I am moving on to other meaningful experiences of connecting with other human beings whose journeys come near to mine.  I am happy, excited, and hopeful about what this means for my family and me.  I am curious about other educational and work opportunities in the future. And I am at peace knowing that God directs life and calls me to a life that has fluidity and movement, instead of a static, unmoved life.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

This weekend marks the eight month countdown to turning 40.  So, the bucket list continues.  I’ve thought a lot about what I want to do/accomplish/see/etc. before this great and terrible day.  Some ideas sound more like New Year’s resolutions than life goals.  It gets me wondering about life goals, life plans, and bigger picture thinking when it comes to one’s life.   Not in a cliché way of thinking, but in some real thought provoking ways of disciplining life around big ideas like spirituality, health, emotional and intellectual growth, parenthood, creativity, and vocation. I did some journal writing a few weeks ago to continue the process, that is to say, to help me get some things down on paper that have been swimming around my mind for a while.

I wonder what will happen.  I wonder about getting from idea to task, since I’m heavy-handed on the idea side of things.  Any help is welcome and appreciated. 

How do you move from idea to work to fruition?

With a heavy heart, I went to visit a saint from our church late this afternoon when I heard she had had a stroke and was in the hospital.  She's a person who worked tirelessly in our clothes closet giving a bit of dignity (and style) to our local community.  Visiting in her nursing home is always an uplifting experience. Today was no different.  I was told her son had left just minutes before I arrived and he must have selected the channel she was watching/listening to. As I sat beside her for a while, we listened to beautiful music (that I wish I could link to right now) that was playing through the television. I held her hand. I asked her simple questions thinking that her ability to communicate was diminished. I was wrong.

After a few songs, I told her wanted to say a prayer for her.  As I prayed, her tear-filled eyes looked directly into mine.  My eyes and cheeks filled to overflowing. And God became flesh and was dwelling among us. Not in me. Not in her. But, in us.

She had tried to say several things during our visit, but I couldn't make out what she saying. Her speech was slurred and unintelligible until I concluded the prayer.  With tear-puddles in her eyes, she said, "thank you." I said, "I love you." She said, "I love you too."

And God made a home among us.

Is this a good idea? Do people still read blogs or has Twitter and facebook limited how much of a person's thoughts someone night read? I just might try this and see.

Digesting the good food and thinking about heading to the beach tomorrow. Early to bed for the littlest Newell.